How I Got Scammed by a Girl Named Orpha (True Story)
So, one of my most long-term and dearest friends is getting married next month. We aren't as close as we were when we were kids, as we have grown up and don't run in the same circles anymore, but still, we love each other dearly. So when one of her Bridesmaids (whom I had never met, but who I had heard my friend mention, and who is named Orpha), calls up with the details for my friend's Surprise Bachelorette Party, I'm super excited.

Until I hear the date.

Which, as I'm guessing you might be able to surmise, was for tonight. I.e. The night before Easter.

Now, I may not be religious, but that doesn't mean that my family doesn't take every possible opportunity to get together and have a good time all under the guise of "a holiday" just like the next person. This particular Easter weekend, Magus and I had plans to go visit our family in Western PA. When I mentioned all of this to Orpha, she apologized for having things being booked this weekend, but said that she honestly didn't realize it was Easter, as she was Jewish, and didn't keep track of those things (I thought that this was odd, because Passover fell at the same basic time as Easter this year, but I handwaved it, because who the hell would lie about THAT?!)

After some discussion, Magus and I both agreed that NOT going to tonight's bash was not an option for me, as I know that my friend has been looking forward to getting married for a VERY long time, and I had always promised her that I would go to her Bachelorette Party. So, off Magus goes (with our niece and future SIL in tow) to his brother's for the weekend, and here I stay (which worked out decent, since Phoebe needed more care then my Mom could comfortably provide).

Now, I think some details are in order. The plans for tonight included events that my friend would have simply LOVED (and actually, pretty much requested ;-P). The first thing being pole dancing lessons, followed by a VIP pass to a very nice club. All of this would be happening in NYC, with a stretch SUV-type limo to cart our butts around. It sounded like EXACTLY what my friend wanted, and the cost to each of us (at a total of $88/head) was very reasonable. And Orpha, made it clear to EVERYONE that she was putting up about $1000 for the night. (Which seemed excessive to me, but hell, if she's got the cash and wants to go all out, who the hell am I to stop her.) So, those of us who could, went. And some of us who couldn't, sent in checks as contribution to the festivities.

Now, lets flash forward a bit to tonight. We all get to Orpha's, and are a bit surprised at the state of the place. It's a bit...run down, and the food and decorations are lackluster. But she has the photographer there for pictures like had been planned, and we all figured what difference did it make, you know? Then, my friend arrives, and she is completely floored and happy that we are all there, and that her fiance managed to trick her into where she was going and what she was doing for the night.

We all talk and snack for a little while, excited about our plans for the night, but still being hush-hush about the actual events so that my friend will be surprised, and then Orpha, sort of, disappears. For an hour. When she comes back, she gives us this story about how she's been gone, trying to situate things with the pole dancing club, and how apparently we've lost our reservation because she was not available to confirm our booking the previous day as her father had had her temporarily committed to a mental hospital for breaking down into sob's at church.

Wha-?

So, uh, no pole dancing then? Okay...

So, she suggests that we all get changed into our club clothes, because the limo is outside (which it is), and we are just going to go to another club first, instead of the pole dancing place. We all shrug, and head off to get changed, not really minding the change of plans, but still a bit baffled as to what the hell is going on.

So we change and all pile into the limo. Except for Orpha and one of her friend's that was "helping out for the night" (and who none of us actually knew) who both climbed in and out of the limo at different points, before disappearing together for about 10 minutes. Next thing we know, the limo starts moving and we are like: "WAIT! We're missing people!" At which point the driver informs us that Orpha and her friend had to go to the ATM to get the money to pay him, because she didn't have it on her for some reason, and that he was following them to the ATM as he needs to be paid up front before he goes anywhere.

At this point confusion is raining supreme.

The limo then stops. He's lost sight of Orpha, and supposedly she calls him to tell him to wait right there in town and that she will be back straight away. We twiddle our thumbs, and try to make light of the situation and enjoy ourselves, figuring she'd be along any minute.

Thirty minutes later, and confusion is being replaced at a pretty fast clip with anger. Orpha calls ONCE during this time to say that she got to the first ATM, and got out as much money as the ATM would allow, but is hitting up a second ATM for the rest and will be right back.

An hour later, and we are downright PISSED (and not in a good, drinking kind of way, either). And Orpha? Well, Orpha has stopped answering her phone, and which she eventually shuts off. And as we are trying to figure out just what the hell has HAPPENED, we discover Orpha's purse in the limo.

With her ATM card still inside.

So, more then a tad livid, we ask the driver to bring us back to where all of our cars are parked, give him a little bit of cash (as it is PAINFULLY obvious at this point that Orpha has no intention on paying him anything) for his time and effort, and proceed to head on home. My friend, and her two future SILs ride with us, as they have effectively been stranded outside of Orpha's home, since my friend's fiance dropped them off, and wasn't supposed to be back until 2 am.

During this little car ride back home (mind you, we are outside of NYC at this point, so the car ride ahead is a mere 1 hour and 45 minutes for us), and we are discussing whether or not this was a genuine money scam, or if Orpha was just truly a bit crazy, and I remember something: Orpha, who claimed to be Jewish on the phone to me, said when we were at her house that she was a Jehovah's Witness.

At this point, its like a light bulb goes off over everybody's head, and we ALL start unraveling the MASSIVE NETWORK OF LIES that Orpha has told all of us over the past 4 weeks or so. (Including, we believe, lying about having ordered her Bridesmaid dress, and claiming that it never arrived, when everyone else's already has. Which makes sense, since there is obviously no way in hell that she is planning on going to the wedding now. Which also explains why she RSVP'd in the negative for the upcoming bridal shower, even though it was moved SPECIFICALLY to accommodate her schedule.)

As it turns out, she can't even keep her stories straight, but she seems to REALLY know how to swindle people. (And honestly, after dissecting her stories, we all very much doubt that this was a first time offense of hers. Rather, we think she makes a habit of it, and just never before had a CHANCE to pull something like this off on my friend.)

My poor friend (the one who is getting married) is very justifiably upset. Orpha is someone she has known for three years, and counted as a good enough friend to ask to be in her wedding, and she just pulled off a scam that netted her about $800-$1000 from her friends.

She deposited my check for tonight on Friday, so the damn thing is still pending. I will make a play to have the sucker canceled tomorrow, but I'm, not overly hopeful. Frankly, the wasted day is something that I am more pissed about (left my house at 2:30 pm, got back at 1 am), and ruining one of my oldest friend's bacherlorette party ranks up there at the top.

And that, my dear friends-list, is the incredibly true story about how I (and 12 or so other people) got scammed by a girl named Orpha.